Nerdtacular III: The Wrath of the Über Nerd (Part I)

Commentator's voice: Welcome back faithful readers. In the last installment our hero, the humble, the great, the good looking, the handsome, the powerful, the magnificent, the acrobatic, the giving, the merciful, the enigma, the potato, the fish, the sock, I love lamp..... wait I'm rambling, Hem! sorry about that. Now where was I?.. oh yeah, our hero David, the Brave Mexican was in deep poo as he was captured by the Nerds who work for the Über Nerd. Will this be the last we ever see of our hero as a normal person?

Captains log: I don't know how I got to this point but it feels right, the knowledge of all the WOW (that's the acronym for World of Warcraft) levels available to Men, the lour of Dungeons and Dragons, the enigma which is the love affair that one can have with trading cards, the many lost hours one can spend online playing with people I can't even see and probably will never meet..... wait this is not where..... I'm missing something, where did my desire for a normal life go? I love physical activity, I love sports, don't I?. This is all happening so fast, I'm chained up in what looks like a basement with rusty pipes all over the sealing, the smell of mildew and stale pizza is suffocating. I feel my hands thirst for blood circulation, it's hard to move, what happened? I try to move my arm's and they are suspended above my head, It looks like I'm handcuffed. Ah! my head, it aches reminiscing of a night of heavy drinking, I feel a bit dizzy and I'm having trouble focusing my eye sight. Drip... Drip.... Drip is all I hear, the beat of a single droplet of water obeying the law of gravity on its way down to meet its doom upon hitting the ground which has collected enough drops that a puddle of water has gathered. All the sudden I hear foot steps and laughter, the Über Nerd!

Über Nerd: Hello David, its been a good battle, but all must come to an end sometime. And now it's your turn to come to an end.
David: Well well well I see that time has not been kind to you Über, or is that the lack of sun and motion?
Über Nerd: Funny, I see you haven't lost your sense of humor. I'm glad because you will loose the rest of what makes you, you.
David: What do you mean?
Über Nerd: Oh my Nerds didn't tell you? I completely re arranged your thoughts soon enough you will be one of us! hahahahah!
David: Holy Crap!
Über Nerd: Yes I know what you are thinking, "No I don't want to be a Nerd, you guys are a bunch of girls who never date and if you do then its all done online" and maybe that's true but its great!, think about it man, just think about it. You could be my right hand Nerd, the pack leader. Ah, what do you think?
David: Never! I will fight this to the end, you hear me! to the END!
Über Nerd: Then so be it!. NERDS! make sure he doesn't go anywhere, I want him ready to serve as soon as I comeback, its almost 8, my mom needs me to clean my room and Babygotback09 is waiting for our Cyber date. Wish me luck!
Nerd 1: Good luck Scott!
Nerd 2: Yeah good luck Scott
Über Nerd: Idiots I told you not to call me that! its Boss when we are around guest. Gosh!

And off he went, up the stairs to his room. Now if I can only mustard the strength to get rid of these Nerds and get myself free, there must be some sort of way I can reverse this spell. I got it! his Dungeons and Dragons play night dates, they must know how to reverse this. The Nerds are off to themselves playing Pokemon, I must brake loose, this is the time, I won't have a better chance. I start to yank on the pipe that I'm handcuffed to and I notice it's starts to budge a little bit, so I make sure the Nerds don't notice... I'm clear. I tug once more and it rattles more, I feel it coming down, the Nerds are fully aware now, they start to make their way towards me and I, in a panic yank the whole pipe down with me, as it comes down It takes one of the Nerds down splashing the other one with a stream of water. The basement starts to flood, with water up to my ankles I run up to the other Nerd before he is able to get up and I kick him right on the gut, he lets out a noise that resembles a Yelp from a Chihuahua. I pay no attention to it and I make sure they aren't getting back up. I take the key from his pocket and undo the handcuffs.

I run up the stairs and I'm getting closer to madness, I feel weak, my limbs start to fluctuate from muscle to fat and back to muscle, my face starts to hurt as pimples begin to surface, my vision is getting blurry, I must hurry and escape this place before It consumes me whole. As I make my way to the door I see a battalion of Nerds, they are everywhere, this is not going to be easy. I start making my way through the ranks of Nerds, knocking 2 to 3 at a time, 1-2 1-2 combos, chin kicks, kidney punches, I'm laying them down, my rage is strong, my adrenaline is pumping and I come to the end of the line... I'm beat, I'm not myself, I feel like my knees are about to give out on me. Just as I feel like I'm home free I see the Über Henchman, He is a menacing figure ready to tango, I take one last sip of breath and we engage in battle!...

To Be Continued......

Nerdtacular: Part Deux

Commentators voice: Our hero is trapped, the nerds are all around him, how on earth will he escape this?!?, please keep calm, he is an expert at evading NERDS.


Captains log: The last time we talked I was surrounded by nerds, I had just taken them down and the Über Nerd was slowly approaching me, with a look of hate, terror and pain. I was getting ready to battle one last time but the movie started.

Now the movie ends and the lights come back on, An amazing movie it was (Wait, did I just say that with a Yoda accent? Oh my!) The nerd force is strong, I can feel my thoughts ramble, all my love for Sports and physical activity is slowly turning to hate and loath, this is not happening!..... must.... fight..... the force!. I notice the Über Ned's hand is pointing straight at me, he must be using some sort of Nerd power he learned at his Dungeons and Dragons game night, what ever it may be its working. I must snap out of it, but the grip is strong, I'm beginning to crave trading cards, I feel the desire of a membership to World of Warcraft, but in my mind I refer to it as WOW. NO! I'm being turned in to another one of his followers, quick man think!. I look down at the floor and I notice an Obi-Wan Kenobi bubble head doll, with all my might and strength I pick it up and throw it at him, and just as I thought, the love of Star Wars was way more strong than his desire to turn me in to a Nerd.

After his grip is gone, just like magic my thoughts begin to become normal, suddenly I remember who the Quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts is again, I remember who won the NBA championship last year. Oh that was a close one, but it won't last long, I must make a move while he is in the trance of Obi-Wan. With my secret Ninja ability I jump kick him right on the chin and send him flying down the steps of the Megaplex, I run down to finish the job once and for all but out of nowhere 2 Nerds jump at me, I stand back in my Ninja stance, thinking what the next move will be...... One Two punch to the chin! one down, one to go. Com on Mr. Nerd, make my day!

A kick to the head knocks me down for just a few seconds, I get back up and wipe the bit of blood left on my lip, oh its on and popin now! wham! two kicks to the balls and down like a tree he goes, as I laugh and point at the nerd reminiscing of the way people would point and laugh at me back in high school I notice that the Über Nerd has vanished, I run as fast as I can trying to catch up to him, but it's too late. He has vanished, this will not happen again. I run back inside and I grab one of the Nerds I had taken down, as I hold him up in the air with one arm (they aren't that heavy) with my other arm I make a fist and threaten to pop every zit in his face with pliers if he doesn't tell me the location of the Über Nerd.

I sneak up in the shadows, I take a peek with my binoculars and I spot him, the Über Nerd! sitting with his Hench men, 3 of them to be exact. This might get bloody, but I am ready for whats ahead, I must rid this world of its Nerd population once and for all. As I start to get up I feel someones presence behind me, I turn around and just as I thought, a pack of Nerds!, I try to engage in battle but as soon as I start to gather my Fighting thoughts I get knocked out cold by one of the Nerds.

Commentators voice: With our hero out cold, who, I say who will save this world from Nerd domination?!, will our hero come to in time? or will he be finally turned in to one of them? for the answers to this and other questions tune in next time to the adventures of David the brave Mexican.

Nerdtacular: Part I

Nerdtacular, the final frontier. These are the voyages of David. His continuing mission, to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new nerd life and new nerd civilizations. To boldly go where no regular man has gone before.

Captains Log: Its a sunny Saturday morning in the middle of spring, the mini van's wheels are roaring through the freeway, our destination is the West Jordan Megaplex. I'm prepared for the events that will transpire in a few moments. My hands are sweating, my heart is beating so hard I can almost see it ripping it self out of my chest. My stomach is begging me for some sort of solid matter. The mini van pulls up to the nearby Carl's Jr. In there we enjoy the taste of fresh meat, tots and the thirst quenching flavor of Minute Made Lemonade. The doors slam shut, our belly's are full, once again our minds are focused on the mission at hand. We pull up to the Megaplex and as I had expected, it is full of Nerds. This is going to be tougher than I thought........


"Live long and prosper." He gives the proper Vulcan salute, the Star Trek star pin on his red shirt begins to blink with a red light, I think to myself. "Where the hell am I?" this is Nerdtacular ladies and gentleman, the place where nerds from all over the galaxy come, to enjoy each others presence, to finally meet each other, no longer are they just a name on the computer screen, they have faces and bodies. Some are big, some are small, some are tall, some are ugly and some are just flat out weird. But my mission is not to judge, but to catalog the amazing force that nerds bring to this world. Its amazing to see the outcome for this private screening of Star Trek. They are everywhere, I'm beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed, I'm ready to face off with the best of them. We get down and dirty, full on confrontation mode. I remember one of the episodes of the Original Star Trek, captain Kirk is about to face off with an evil martian of some sort. But this is a worse threat, something Mr. Shatner never faced, NERDS! World of Warcraft Nerds, Star Trek Nerds, Comic book Nerds, all sorts and kinds. I take one down and 3 more appear, its never ending. I'm wounded, I'm fatigued ready to give up, but then I get an extra surge of strength and I pin them all down. Just as I am done with the herd of Nerds, I look up and I see the Über Nerd of them all, the one who set all this up. This is it, what I came here for, as I get in my battle stance the lights go off and the movie starts. Sorry Über Nerd, this match will have to wait!

Commentators Voice: What will happen to our hero? will the Über Nerd have the upper hand on him? will David come out on top? will he be overtaken by Nerds and transformed to a Nerd himself? For the answer to these questions stay tuned to the adventures of David the brave Mexican!

Lessons learned from Nathaniel

PART I
"What?!, 12 main Entrees in this menu? only 12?," these are the words my wife yells to herself looking down at the Menu at The Mayan restaurant in Sandy, UT. You see the night had started out great, happy to know that it was the start of the weekend, as always my wife and I were planning a Friday night date, we figured we'd go get some dinner and then a movie, so far everything was going great, we pulled up at the Sandy Megaplex parking lot and bought tickets for the 9:35 pm showing of The Soloist. We were both way stoked about it, the only thing now was getting some food. I wanted to go to The Cheese Cake Factory but due to the lack of time we had left that was out of the question, here is where our adventure begins. First we decide that the Cheese Cake Factory is too far, and more than likely would be super busy with tons of trendy Men and Women lining up waiting for the chance at getting a table, minimum of a 40 minute wait, no doubt about that. So on to the next step or plan B, there is only a hand full of places were we can eat here, we have Ruby River Steakhouse, Joe's Crab Shack, The Mayan and some crappy looking Italian place which I don't remember the of. So we first hit Joe's Crab Shack, it smelled so bad, and it was so dirty looking that I was not impressed at all. We walked out and headed to the Mayan, again only 12 menu entrees available here, and none are for less than 9 or 10 dollars, not impressed. So on to Ruby River, not that enticing sorry, the smell of peanuts and beer mixed with the sounds of country music just didn't sit well with us. So what are we to do? well we drove down to Carl's Jr and had ourselves a Six Dollar Guacamole Burger, it was great. As all this was going on, I was rather ornery, hungry and a bit depressed, you see I had been struck with bad luck lately, had issues at work, I wasn't happy at all, and to make matters worse we couldn't eat at the restaurant I wanted to eat at, instead I got stuck eating at Carl's. After a small scuffle with my wife about dumn things that I wanted to buy, we started talking about my future, about what my plans were, sure enough I got uncomfortable because I didn't want to hear it at that time. Through prayer and my wife's loving touch and tact, love was in the air again.

PART II

There I am sitting, watching in amazement at how much pollution there is in the streets of L.A.. Its sad to think that men and women can live this way, in the cold concrete, fighting hunger, addiction, rats, gang violence. But sadly enough this is the life that most people live on an everyday basis. Then as a ray of sunshine would give your heart ease at knowing that the storm is long gone, the amazing sound of music comes and soothes the pain that is felt by so many here, it makes it all alright, as if life is not that cruel, not so... unpredictable. The sound is coming from a homeless man playing the Cello, such an amazing talent that can't easily be taught, but yet this man plays with such a confidence, such ease, its hard no to get caught in the storm of sound caressing ones eardrum. Nathaniel Ayers, a musical prodigy who once attended the world renown Juilliard School in New York City, is now part of the millions of homeless men and women who populate Los Angeles. Its a sad way of life, but this is his life none the less. He sufferers from Schizophrenia, this is the reason why he spends his days wondering the streets of L.A., playing in front of no one at all, in front of roaring traffic, in front of so many homeless people in SKID ROW, and not playing at the Disney Concert Hall, a place he idolizes. This movie has moved me, at times I laugh, at times I feel like crying but I hold back, its gritty and real, the way they have captured the horror which is homelessness is great, at times too real to enjoy. One wonders how is it that we can live so pampered, worried about what to wear the next day, what restaurant we will eat that night or week end, what new game or worthless toy to buy, what new movie to go out and see, and yet there is so many people who are wondering if they will be able to eat at all, will they be able to sleep OK, if they will make it another day without being prey to gang violence and drugs. there is a different taste in my mouth now, try not to take what you have for granted, relax and enjoy your blessed life because no matter how much you think you are going through, there is someone that has it worse than you. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS.

Faith is great

What is Faith?
Faith is a belief in the truth of or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing, that is characteristically held without proof. There for faith is believing in something that you can't see, touch, taste, or maybe even hear. Faith is knowing that something or someone is there, that something good will come out of something bad, that the sun will always rise to shine after a stormy night, that the light will once again rule over the land. This is my personal story of faith, and what it took for my wife and I to get there.

As you may or may not know, I was born in Mexico City, Mexico. I came with my family to these United States by plane, legally, with a passport and a visa. They did become expired and there fore was in this country illegally, this has been my secret for over 15 years, but now thanks my God and my beloved Wife I no longer have to suffer with this problem that plagues so many of us in the United States. The first year of being married we told ourselves that we would have my papers done by the end of the year. February 9th was our big day, we were married and sealed for time and all eternity in the Salt Lake City Temple, of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This was one of the happiest days of my life, as time went on we started saving for the process of our paper work, I say our paper work because as my wife always puts it, "We are One, so your pain is my pain, your sorrow is my sorrow, and your illegal status is my illegal status, there for this is our paper work." How great it is to have such a devoted wife. The time was finally at hand, after months of paper work, meetings with lawyers and waiting patiently by the mail box to see if my case had been approved by the government, the letter finally came that stated my time and place of meeting with a government official to determine if I would be allowed or approved Legal Residency.

The day of the meeting was October 27, 2008. At 1, I was so thankful to God, to my savior Jesus Christ that this day was finally approaching. But like everything there must be opposition before and or after all that is good. It was now Friday October 24th and my mother had hurt her leg, bad enough that she could not walk, it had swollen so bad that she couldn't place any pressure on it with out pain shooting through her like a shiver, a friend of hers recommended that she take some pills for the pain, something that my mother did, turns out that these pills were way too strong for my mothers delicate stomach so she was throwing up everything that she ate or attempted to eat, to the point that she was throwing up nothing but gastric acids from within her stomach. Green liquid, my poor mother laid in bed on Sunday as she was not able to make it to church because of her condition.

My wife and I had been prying and fasting (To fast is to go without food and drink voluntarily for a certain period of time. Fasting combined with sincere prayer can strengthen us spiritually, bring us closer to God, and help us prepare ourselves and others to receive His blessings.) for the upcoming day, that we would be blessed with a kind and understanding person, someone that had the spirit of Christ with in them. We had just come home from church when I received a call from my sister, she told me the condition in which my mother was, and she was asking for a blessing of healing(This is when 2 or more men, holders of the Holy Melchizedek Priesthood place their hands above someones head who is ill or afflicted and anointed them with Olive Oil that has been blessed and consecrated and follow to give a blessing for their health or well being) from Alvaro who is my sisters husband and myself, I rushed as fast as I could and saw the condition that my mother was in and it was a bit hard to see, she was almost green, she had been laying in bed all day, her leg swollen and not able to move, with a bucket next to her bed so that when she had to she could fill it up with what was left in her stomach. We proceed with the blessing, Alvaro did the anointing and I the blessing, it was special and moving to know that when in need I could be the one to help with the powers that I hold by having the Priesthood in my life.

I was stressed out, my mother laying in bead not able to move, and I was on my way to one of the most important meetings of my life. The blessing that I had ministered on to her worked as she was able to go to the doctor's the following day, her vomiting had stopped and she was able to sustain enough to stand on her leg, it was truly a miracle from God, this I testify of. We drove out to the place were we had our interview, we were early, actually about an hour and a half early, they specifically asked in the letter to not be more that 20 minutes early, so we waited in the car, I was perspiring like never before, I had on my black and white pinstripe suit with my blue collard button up shirt and gray tie, my wife was in a beautiful black dress. We had a package to deliver to someone in California and we figured we go and do that to kill time, but we did not know the area so well and we did not know where the local post office was. I noticed a mail car parked by us so I went to see if I could find the mail man, I had no luck but I was able to find an nice lady, I do not recall her name but she was out there lighting up a cigarette, she had on a red button up sweater, a light brownish shirt and brown dress pants, she had a badge hanging from her neck, I approached her and asked her if she worked here to what she responded yes I do, I had always imagined fat white men, who were in some way racist and angry at the world working here, but there stood the total opposite.

I asked her if she knew where the local post office was and she replied with a smile "No I don't but if you find it let me know because I have some things that I need ship out my self." I said well thank you anyways, shook her hand and walked away, she yelled out "Good Luck" and I said thanks, I got in the car and told my wife what had just happened, we decided to just go to a local gas station as we both had to use the bathroom. As I drove I told my wife, "I hope that we get some one like that lady, she was everything that I thought this place wouldn't be, nice, caring and polite" my wife responded gently and lovingly "The Lord will have someone for us, who ever it is and what ever the outcome is, it is of God, come what may and love it," she always knows what to say. We were on our way back as time was getting close, we parked and gave a prayer, asking for strength, firmness, and eloquence as we spoke. We walked in and there greeted us 2 security guards armed with guns and a night stick, we placed all our belongings on a tray and walked through a metal detector, we gave them our appointment paper and they instructed us to place it in a wooden box that was near a door and to have a seat and wait for our name to be called. We did so, carrying all of our belongings back, picture folders of our weeding and honey moon and paper work all to prove to the Government that we indeed were married and were living together and that it was not just to get this paper work done.

Sitting down just trying to stay calm we noticed several people coming in to this little waiting room adorned with pictures of then President Gorge W. Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney, the American flag and several other posters about immigration laws. I noticed the door behind us open, and to my surprise a fat, white balding man with a mustache came out and grabbed one of the papers that was in the wooden box in front of him, he yelled out a name of a lady, not us. She walked up and went in there with him. I was so nervous by now, my hands were clammy and my gut was shaking. Remembering the words of my wife "Come what may and love it" I began to say a silent prayer, as soon as I was done, I look up to see the same lady whom with I had spoken outside about an hour ago, she grabbed the next paper on the little wooden box and yelled out "Edgar Roura!" with a smile of disbelief I got up with my wife and started walking to the back with this lady, as we walked to her office, I began to remember what we were fasting for, someone kind and loving who would be full of the light of Christ. She had us sworn in by placing our left hand on the Holy Bible and with our right hand raised to the square, we swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help us God, we did and proceeded with the interview. It was simple, she asked us personal questions as to when and where we met, how long we had been married, our ages, parents names etc...

I remember trying to stare right at her eyes and with my shoulders back and chest forward answering with "Yes mam, No mam" trying to be as eloquent as possible. My hand clasping my wife's squeezing it every now and then, every time I felt scared. Not a single doubt is in my mind that the Spirit of Christ was present in that little crammed office were we were sitting. The lady went on to grant my legal residency, stating that she wished that all the cases she had were like this one, no criminal background, no problems what so ever, just get in and get out. We were rejoicing within, and before our meting was over, she asked me if had found the local post office, I told her no. So she grabbed her yellow pages and looked it up and gave us the address. We left that building, smiling, crying, laughing out loud with joy, dancing, singing, this day finally came and I was now a legal resident of The United States of America. This is my testimony of faith, if you pray, and fast and do all that is right to work for that goal, Lord willing it will come to pass. My mother is better, after we gave her the blessing she stopped vomiting, her leg is like new, my wife and I were blessed with a living angel and I can now live life without worries.

Faith is great, and as long as we exercise it all will be well.

Drawing a blank

I think that I have run out of stories to tell......

MORP

"Gun, gun, he's got a gun!" is all I remember hearing as my friends and I took off running as fast as we could. I kept telling myself "I'm going to get shot, I'm going to die!," how could I have been so dumb? why did I put myself in these situations? but this is not where this story starts, oh no, this starts early on that same day.

It was lunch time, and there I was chilling with my boys at the "spot" which was a rail right in front of the lunch service area, we thought we were tough. It was a Friday and we were all stoked that the week end was upon us, its funny because it's the same now that I'm sitting here writing this story, Friday and I'm ready to go home. Well it was Friday and that was great but on top of it there was a dance, the Morp, which is "Prom" spelled backwards. It's a casual dance, where the girls ask the guys and everyone can attend. It was the happening thing as these dances were the place to pick up on people and just go crazy. The day went by and school was out, I walked home to relax and to get ready for the event that was about to happen.

Sitting in my room contemplating the the closet, thinking about what to wear. I kept looking at the selection that was in front of my eyes, and I did not know what to ware, and now you know what time it is.... CHECK LIST TIME!

• Slightly spiky hair: Check


• Blue short sleeve plaid shirt from Wally World: Check


• Baggie Dicky cargo pants: Check


• Brand new Rebook high tops: Check


• Chap Stick: Check


• Double Mint Gum (Double the pleasure, double the fun): Check


• Cologne (Michael Jordan, not a breath refresher): Check


• Mouth full of metal (Braces): Check

I felt like a hundred bucks, I was ready to party, ready to mingle and ready to make out with some poor girl (Imagine, not the best kisser with braces). By the time I was done with the check list it was about 8:30 pm and the dance had started. This is a must when you go to a party or dance, always make it a personal goal to show up late as this will enhance your entrance, unless people see you as a nerd or looser in which case you won't be noticed no matter how late you show up, sorry I don't make the rules. The year was 1999 my junior year, and music was the thing that life revolved around for most teens our age and at that time for me it was Deep House (please don't ask) and I thought that I could dance to it well, Hip Hop was great as well and as always I was all about it but for some reason I was in love with Deep House, and the way the "Rebels" danced to it. If you were in Cali around that time you know what I'm talking about. There I was walking in and all the lights were off in the Gym, the Strobe lights flashing off and on so fast that it made things look as if everything was moving in slow motion. Everyone in the middle of the dance floor getting their groove on to the sounds of DMX's "Party Up" , I recall the Bass thumping and rattling my every thought. I walked around to check out the action, as I always did also looking for anyone I knew. I finally found my buddy Chris and his girlfriend Valery (Her and I had a complicated past) So I casually said hello to the both of them trying not to bring up any past issues or memories. I walked away and ran in to my buddy Darrin, him and I were starting to build a good relationship, I was happy to have someone to try and pick up some digits with.

The night went on and we danced with a few girls we knew, loving the way the night was turning out, we had run in to some of our friends, Danny was there and he was good friends with Chris and Darrin as well as with myself, as the dance started to wrap up I remember talking to Darrin about 2pac (this was a topic that him and I could talk about hours) and his best songs, all the sudden we hear Valerie crying and it grabbed our attention so we stopped what we were doing to stare at her and Chris talking, I thought "Oh no, they broke up because I'm too much for her to not think about, poor fool but I don't blame her," but I was way off. I saw Chris's face and he was hot (angry) all the sudden I see him walking toward us, I got a little tense thinking of what I could have done or say to make her cry and him so mad, but I was stunned to hear what he had to say.

"What?!" was our reaction, I remember Danny getting so mad it was kind of scary, he was a bit unstable when it came to throwing blows. Turns out that a guy named Jerome got in to some words with Valerie and slapped her, I don't care how in your face or rude a woman is to you, you should never lay your hands on a woman. He asked us to get his back as he was going to confront Jerome outside so we said yes. There we were 4 guys ready for some words and fists to fly, it felt like the movie Reservoir Dogs when all the guys are walking down the alley way in slow motion with some sort of music joining our every step. We get to the front gate where Jerome was talking to a girl and we let Chris go and confront him, we weren't about to jump the kid, this was Chris's problem and he was going to deal with it. "Why did you slap my girl?!," Chris yelled out getting pumped up for a fight to what Jerome responded "Man I don't know what you talking about man, get your *bleep* out of here with that." Chris wasn't buying it so he brought Valerie and had her tell him right there what happened, she did and again Chris got in Jerome's face more aggressively, "Why did you hit her you *bleep*?, you never hit a woman, now I'm going to whoop your *bleep*," I think Jerome was a bit scared because he just keep saying he didn't do nothing and walked away. Its done I thought but it had just started.

About 10 minutes of being gone, we see a fleet of people and right in front was Jerome with Percy and another guy I didn't know, to our luck Danny was good friends with Percy who was the big man around, know for his gang affiliations, I thought to my self "Oh man this is going to get ugly" and boy did it. Now that he was backed up by a few of his boys Jerome grew some guts and confronted Chris about the issue saying that he did slap his girl because she deserved it, "what you going to do about it white boy?" I remember him saying out loud, now Chris was not one to be messed with but even he saw that our odds weren't so great, 4 of us and about 10 of them, by any means not a fair fight at all. Jerome kept getting more aggressive by the second and Chris was not backing down, he felt that he would be a hypocrite if he did and I don't blame him. We were there for him if things got out of hand and they were, Danny was trying his best to get Percy and his homies to back off and let Chris and Jerome handle this on their own, but when Jerome heard this he flipped saying that we came at him when he was by himself and didn't back down, "that's a lie" I said out loud, "he came to you by himself and you know it man." Things got more harsh, he started yelling and Chris by this time was fed up and took out what looked like a shank, Jerome noticed and made a big deal and Percy hit the wall, he was way mad at the fact.

"You *bleeping* skin head" Jerome screamed at Chris, he was everything but that, but I could see why he would think that. Chris was White, bald and full of tattoos. Well this kept going on for about 20 minutes and then all the sudden it turned Percy against Chris, Danny was in the middle of it trying to defuse it and he was getting both to calm down, but we didn't see Jerome. When I noticed that he wasn't around is when I heard some one yelling, "Gun, gun, He's got a Gun!," we didn't wait to see if this was true or not we broke as fast as we could, we ran for our lives down the street, I kept thinking "I'm going to die, I'm going to get shot, I'm going to get shot and then I'm going to die!," then after we had ran for about 3 blocks I heard what sounded like 3 loud claps, I ran even faster. We finally made it to an apartment complex and jumped in to some bushes, we hid there for about 5 minutes waiting for things to calm down, we saw people running past us, screaming like crazy. My heart was beating out of my chest, I was so shaken that my hands could not stop shaking. Darrin was right next to me, and Danny next to him. We all separated and went our own way after about 30 minutes of waiting things out, I later found out that Chris and Valerie got away just fine, no one was hurt as far as I know, and to be honest I don't know if a single round was fired at all or if my mind was so in to the moment that something that sounded like gun shots scared me half to death. That was an interesting night, I kept a low profile after as I didn't want to get in to anything that could end my life, and thank God, I was kept away from any harm.

Sleepers

Have you ever done something so bad that you think you are going to jail? Well this is what I felt one hot Summer in Lancaster. The year was about 1998 and we lived in a closed block named Foxboro ct. In a 2 story home, there lived almost my whole family, my brother Luis and his wife Ely, my sister Claudia and her husband David and their 2 kids Itzel and Alex, also my Mom, my sister Ana and her kid Danny and my self. It was a big house and we did this to save money and to be together (not a good idea). It was a great neighborhood when we first moved in in 1996, great place to raise a family.


Not long after my only friend Aaron and his family moved out I met Jamel and Trammel, my first black friends! (I hope that doesn't come off as racist) but until then I had only hung out with Latinos and Whites. We started noticing a big change in the people who started to move in to the block, bigger families, so that meant that less adults, more chances to get in to trouble. There was only one entrance to the street, it was also the only exit that lead to the main avenue, 15Th street east. Cross the street and there was another neighborhood but the entrance to that street was a bit up the road, so the houses who's backs were to the avenue had very high walls, or at least they seemed high to me as I was not able to jump them like all my friends did.


One day we had nothing to do and we had befriended a kid from the other neighborhood, we called him Beavis because he resembled the character made famous by Mike Judge on MTV. He was a bit older and also friends with a few boys in our block. On this day life changed for some of us. There we were trying to be cool with the older kids of the block and we all decided to go to Beavis's house and chill. There we were passing time with nothing to do, I don't remember who had the bright idea but it was suggested that we go in the back yard and throw stuff at cars passing by. This all seemed like a great idea at the time so all of us, Beavis, Jamel, Trammel, George, his little brother Ezekiel, and myself went to his back yard which was a big one with a tool shed, an apple tree (which was our ammo) and enough space to play football if we wanted to but I guess that throwing apples at cars and people was more appealing.


There we were ready to have fun. "Here comes a car, get ready" George yelled out, so we grabbed our apples and and cocked our arm back and began to open fire at our target, in a matter of seconds the car was splattered with apple sauce, it was thrilling to be doing something so stupid, not knowing that we could actually harm someone really bad. But we didn't care so we continued with our fun little target practice, the next victim was a guy on a motorcycle but what we didn't realize is that he had a little kid on the back, which so happened to be his son. Beavis and Trammel opened fire on the poor Innocent target and all I remember was hearing the bike swerve out of control as the attack came as a surprise. We expected the guy to yell out loud belligerently and continue but boy were we wrong.


As we peeked out to see what happened, the bike stopped. The guy made sure his kid was OK, while all this happened there was another guy walking by who witnessed the event that had just happened and went to the guy's rescue. After they made sure the kid was OK, he was just a bit shook up. They broke for the wall of the house were we were, as we saw them running towards us we booked it. I remember running to hide in the tool shed with Jamel and Trammel. The door shut behind us leaving just a crack, enough for us to hear the 2 men jumping over the wall, I was so scared, breathing so heavy I was begging to worry that the guys would hear me and bust in there and take us all down. I remember looking around the tool shed and looking at my 2 friends, tears were coming down their eyes, tears of fear and adrenaline mixed together was my best guess, I was moved by their emotion so much that I too began to tear up.


The shed began to be silent and we figured we were clear, maybe the guys looked around and didn't find anyone so they left. My mind and soul started to calm down, I was so tense I didn't realize that I was gripping a pipe so tight that my fingers began to cramp up once I started relaxing. My calm thoughts were short lived, we started walking to the the door to see if they were gone, as we got closer I could hear foot steps on the grass, so I knew they were still looking for us. Then I saw something that made me freeze, I saw one of the men walking towards the tool shed. Staring right in to his eyes I thought to my self, "I'm so busted" but to my surprise out of the corner of my eye I see Beavis making a brake for it, that was the wrong choice but because of him doing that he saved 3 of us.

As the 2 guys saw him running off, they gave chance after him. It was now or never, the 3 of us busted out of the tool shed to meet up with Gorge and his brother. I remember hiding behind the door that lead the back yard to the front yard waiting for the right time, I saw the 2 guys running after Beavis in circles as he was trying to evade them, but that came to an end because they both just tackled him to the ground. This was our cue to run for it, so we busted out the door as fast as we could. We sprinted as fast as our legs gave us the chance, I kept looking back to see the 2 guys walking back in the house with Beavis, I was so scared that they would call the cops on us, that our police sketches would be plastered all over the news, to make matters worse we had just watch Sleepers the night before, this movie was similar to what had just happened. Kids doing something dumb hurt someone and they go to jail and get abused bad. I didn't want to end up like this so I ran and ran as much as I could, I remember my legs burning, my chest aching, I was gasping for air, but I couldn't stop, not yet I had to get away. We ran for about a mile, until we realize that they weren't following us at all.

We were all tripping, wondering what to do next, how could we go back to our house? there was one entrance back and we were sure there would be cops all over looking for us, so we cut through the apartment buildings that were right next door to our block. We jumped the wall and all went to our home. There I was sweating like I had just ran for my life (which I did), I remember my sister asking me what was wrong, and I spilled my guts out, I told her everything. She look at me saying "Are you stupid? do you not remember that movie we watched last night? remember what they did to dose kids?" (see I told you it was similar) "I know, I know, you don't have to remind me, I saw the movie as well" I told her, I was so ready for this day to be over that I just went to my room and turned some music on.

Turns out that Beavis never gave any names, claiming that he was acting on his own. We never got in trouble for this stupid stunt of ours. I sure learned my lesson but not all of us did. Eventually Beavis was involved in a shooting with some guys that he befriended from our block. He is currently serving time in prison. Jamel went on to College while his brother Trammel became a drug dealer, not sure what happened to George or his brother as we distanced ourselves from them as much as we could. We all eventually moved out of the block, and as for me I'm here telling you what happened during a hot summer day 11 years ago..... Life is sweet.

The Goliath Dubie

Can any one from California tell me what is the happiest place on earth? no not Disneyland but.... you guessed it Six Flags Magic Mountain! (for a teenager this place is like Disneyland on crack). Being a teenager this is the place to be during the summer, so like many teenagers my buddies and I would go constantly. This story is one of stupidity, emotion and an just being at the wrong place at the wrong time, this is The Goliath Dubie.

It was the Summer of... oh I don't know 2000? sounds good to me. I was hanging out with my partner in crime Adrian (I told you I have many stories that involve this moron) and his cousin who was out in Lancaster with us for the Summer from his East L.A. home. We did everything together that summer, it was fun and full of many funny moments. It was Adrian's girlfriends birthday and her dad had money to spare and her mom hated her dad so she took advantage of the situation and got her dad to pay for all of us to go to Six Flags as her birth day gift, her mom would be driving us there. We were stoked, going to Six Flags in the Summer had become a routine for us, we had been to every single ride in that park and we loved it. This Summer was a special one because Goliath was brand new and the fact that we were going for free was just as exciting as a new ride.

There we were, getting off the mini van that Adrian's mother in law drove. The day was perfect, sunny and hot, not a cloud in the sky. Thinking to myself "I'm getting some digits today" I got suited for action.... CHECK LIST TIME!

• Red hair: Check


• Black and Red Eminem Slim Shady shirt that is way to big for me: Check


• Yellow Nike windbreaker jogging pants rolled up to show my gastroc-soleus (look it people): Check


• Red High top Chuck Taylor's stuffed at the tongue to make my foot look fat (don't ask) with the top folded down to look Gangsta: CHECK!

I was ready to pimp around the teenager playground I like calling Six Flags Magic Mountain. We start walking to the the entrance after we had our tickets handed to us, and like any theme park you have the annoying camera people trying to take your picture as you walk in, so we took one. I still have this picture, I stood in the middle with Adrian to my left and his Cousin to my right, striking our pose trying our hardest to mad dog the camera to look tough. We were all stoked to be there, the smell of funnel cake pierced my nostrils every time we walked in. There we were, Adrian and his Girlfriend Amy, his Cousin, Roxy who is Amy's Cousin who had a crush on me, and my self, all young, dumb and ready to enjoy a day full of screaming and adrenaline, or so we thought.

We all decided that we didn't want to do anything but to get on Goliath to start the day, so we went straight to it. The line was long, way long (if you been there it was out by the actual letters or maybe past that) so we got in line, all happy and excited. Chatting as the line moved so slow we kept staring at the ride as it went up up up up up.... just thinking about the noise they make it makes my hands sweat, hearing the "clank clank clank clank clank clank" just as you get to the very top and then they just let you look out at your surroundings for just a split second and then voom! off to the bottom you go, man I miss the rush of the thrilling speeds. I don't know if I mentioned that my buddy Adrian was a major pot head back then (he enrolled in the navy so that had to stop) and his cousin wasn't any better. I didn't smoke anymore because of a really bad high that scared me off weed for good.

Adrian was a bit hooked on weed and was feeling his vice coming back and told his cousin, "hey man lets go to the bathroom real quick to light this blunt up before we hit the ride, it will make it so much better!" to what his cousin said "sure man" and off they were to the nearest bath room which was about 100 feet from where we were. The girls and I stayed in line waiting for it to move, I was so used to them smoking around me that I didn't think nothing of it so I didn't say anything. We waited for about 10 to 15 minutes and we were getting closer to going through the Goliath gate so Amy asked me if I could go and get the guys, I said sure ill be right back.

It was about 11:30 am and we had the whole day ahead of us, I walked in the bathroom and looked around for them but I couldn't see them, I walked all the way back to the stalls and there they were hiding, taking the last puffs. "Lets go man, the line is almost through the gate" I said to them and they responded "OK we have like 2 more hits, we will be right out" I said OK and turned around and closed the door of the stall behind me, the bathroom was empty but as I started walking I noticed a man walking in with a hat and shades, I thought nothing of it. Right before we passed each other he screams at me at the top of his lung capacity "Get your hands against the wall now!" I did not know what to do as I was in shock, he grabbed me and slammed me against the wall and told me to keep my hands in the air and not to move, he walked to the back and yelled out "Get out with your hands out now!" and I looked over to see him cuffing Adrian and his cousin and he told us "I'm undercover security for this park, and you guys are in deep poo" (he used the other word)

We started walking out of the bathroom where another guy was waiting for his partner, so they both took us to the security office like we were criminals, well I guess they were but I was Innocent, and I kept telling him that I didn't do anything but he just ignored me. This was not turning out the way I planed it at all. We were walked out of the park by where you buy the tickets when you first walk in, there was a room that was camouflaged to look like just another wall, but the guy opened the door and there it was, I very low budget security room, stuffy and smelly. About 4 other guys where in there dressed normal to when I realised they were all undercover. There we were sitting against the wall, hot and sweaty missing the fun and I'm sure that the girls were worried like crazy because we never came back. The Security people started asking us questions, like interrogation. What were you guys doing in there? How much weed did you smoke? who was your dealer? you guys are in so much trouble, the cops are on their way. I have heard these threats once before at this place but that's a whole other story.

To make the story short, we were there until about 4 pm locked in this room. All i kept thinking about was how mad I was at these two numb nuts for getting me in trouble. I had convinced the security guys I didn't do anything and that they could run a drug test if they wanted, I had nothing to hide. As for the other two morons they had to be escorted out of the park and were not to return for a good time, the reason we had been waiting in there for so long is because we needed to be handed over to an adult but Amy's mom wasn't coming back for us until way later. As I sat there all I could hear was the rides going over and over, the screams of the people on them, the laughter, the foot steps as people passed by the secret security room planning out their day, I remember looking at Adrian and his cousin an being so mad at them and they were smiling as their high slowly faded away. We were eventually let go, Amy had been asking around for us and was finally lead to security, she was told of what had happened and called her mom, she came as soon as she could.

It was now about 5pm and our day was done, I was glad to be out in the open again. Amy's mom was mad and so was Amy, and so was I. The ride home was quiet and lets just say that I never went back to Six Flags with Adrian for the rest of my life in California.

Now the moral of this story is this: Don't smoke weed because its bad for you and you will get kicked out of Six Flags, and please try to avoid having friends who smoke all together. Until next time faithful readers.

No Love for "Big Love"

So there is yet another hit on the sacred ordinances of the church, another attack towards The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This one comes to us thanks to the good people at HBO and also thanks to Forest Gump himself, every one's beloved do-good actor Tom Hanks who is a producer of the show

Big Love is is an American television drama about a family in Utah that practices polygamy. The creators of the show assured to the Church that they would in no way involve anything related to the LDS faith or believes, but maybe they had their fingers crossed. On the 15Th of March they will be showing an episode that will feature a "depiction in detail" of a temple endowment. If you are LDS you know that this is a big deal! but if you aren't let me put it this way, when you and your wife/husband have sex or make love what ever you call it, do you show every one in the world? or do you keep it to yourself because of how beautiful and sacred and personal it is? Well the same goes with temple work, its not that its secret and we want to keep the world from knowing what goes on in there but its far to sacred to share with everyone. We invite and encourage all who are members of the Church and are worthy Temple Recommend holders to do temple work, but if you don't meet the qualifications you shouldn't know what goes on in there. There is tons of worthy members who don't know what goes on inside the temple as well.

This is just another testament of the true Church, it is Prophecy being fulfilled as we speak. The name of our prophet has been used for both Good and Evil and it will continue, we as members are persecuted for what we believe to be right and just and because we stand up for what we know to be the law of God we are called "narrow minded" and "bigots" this is all fine with me because as my loving wife put it, "We are privileged and blessed to be living in these times and to be witness of the last days" so as Christ did and taught us to do, I shall too turn the left cheek and love and pray for mine enemies. I wish HBO, the cast members of Big Love and any one involved with the show well, may God bless them and listen to them as they will have to answer to allot.

Bad taste in my mouth

People grow and understand that the choices they have made in the past were not the smartest, or the wrong ones. But none the less we learn from every single choice we make and action we take good or bad. This is the story of an action that was a very bone headed one in my behalf but funny enough to write about it.

There I was, looking around the back of shoe store for the right size of shoe the customer had just asked me for and for the life of me I couldn't find it, but this story begins about 2 hours prior to this situation in the front yard of one of my friend's, we had been out of school for about an hour and I had to kill time before I went to work so I was chilling with my buddy Adrian (many stories to tell about him and I) and we decided to head over Ken's house so there we were driving in my 89 Ford Escort GT, oh yeah rolling in high class. This was my first car and I loved it, I had it all pimped out (or so I thought) lowered, exhaust, sound system the works you know how we Cali boys do it. We roll up and we knock on the door and out came Ken and his buddy who's name I can't remember for the life of me.

"Ready to taste some of the good stuff?" Ken asked us to what we replayed in great enthusiasm "Hell yeah man, don't hold out on us" You see I was young and dumb, about 17 years old and I thought like many young men do "I'm the man and smoking a little weed won't hurt me, I can't get addicted" I was right, thank God I never got in to it like my buddy did, he is one of the biggest pot heads I know and here I was walking the same footsteps, but I was cool for chilling with the pot heads I mean this is all high school was about right? fitting in

Deep inside of me I knew I was messing up but somehow I didn't care, it's like I wanted to brake the rules of my house and of my religious believes to show them I wasn't like the rest of the followers, but sadly enough I was all I was trying to avoid. Well back to business, there we were sitting in Ken's front porch, pipe in one hand and the lighter in the other, here we go, this is what separates the men from the kids, the mouse from the lion and I was a Lion, a leader who didn't play by the rules of everyone else, as I light up the pipe I remembered my mom's many talks about drugs, how sad would she be if she saw me right now, how would my brother react? I didn't care so I took my manly puffs. "Puff, puff, give, puff, puff, give" is all I kept thinking, ah the soothing sounds of Cris Tucker's voice echoed in my mind, I was a rebel, braking the law and not caring. Look at me world! I'm a man and I'm smoking weed to prove it, on my friends front porch none the less, that was to show the law that I wasn't scared of them. Why should I be? I was 17 years of age, a man by my standards, I was able to go in to rated R movies without a parent, I could go in to the adult stores (which I did as soon as I turned 17 just to say I did it) I was able to drive by myself, no parental supervision as I now had a real drivers license not a permit.

"Wow, my thoughts are a bit drag dude!" I said out loud, I was high and a bit confused. This was only the second time doing this so I wasn't used to the feeling like my friends were, I remember raising my hand in front of my face and waving back and forward and seeing ghosting of my hand if you will, laughing for no reason, feeling extra slow in thought and speech. To this day I don't know why I got high, I wasn't crazy about it and it was sure enough something that didn't make me feel good, peer pressure is hard to overcome when you are striving for friendship and I was striving to be accepted by these morons. So there we were the four of us, high as can be thinking we all cool. "Well fellows I'm off, can't be late to work" I wasn't making a great impression at work to begin with and I'm sure showing up late and high would make things even better.

"Hey man give me one of those Starburst, my mouth tastes and smells like weed" I told my friend Adrian, he looked at me with a smile and said "Dude I'm out" with a big grin on his face. Great there I was about to drive high to work with the stench of weed in my mouth, whats one to do? I hop in to my car and start driving off, think fast man I kept telling myself. I had some cologne in my car, Michael Jordan to be exact. I had just gotten it for Christmas and I proceeded to spray myself down with it to cover up the smell. Then I began to formulate what I thought at the time was a genius idea, if the smell of the cologne is good enough on clothes and I needed to refresh my breath why not spray my mouth with it?. When people tell you that you can't think straight when you are intoxicated in any way shape or form they are telling the truth. I did one of the dumbest things ever, I opened my mouth wide open and placed the cologne spray right to my tongue, I pressed the top of it and it discharged the liquid all over my mouth.

For a moment I waited for the goodness to spread through my mouth, com on refreshing taste of Michael Jordan do your magic. But it never happened, to my surprise it started to sting and the taste that came about was horrid. But how could this be? It smelled so great it just had to taste just as good right? My mouth tasted so nasty and my tongue started going numb. "Great" I thought, now I won't be able to talk "stupid Adrian taking all the Starburst" I thought to my self. Well I had no choice but to toughen up and just deal with the taste and the numb feeling. So there I was walking up to my job, "Vans Shoe Store" I read as I walked up thinking to myself that the letters were bigger than what I remembered.

Staring at a lady I remembered that she had just asked me to bring her the right size for her to try on our shoe, the Spicoli black and white checkered shoes made famous by Sean Penn in his cult classic Fast Times at Ridgemont High playing, well what do you know, a pot head. Well I ran to the back and there I was, looking around for the right size of shoe the customer had just asked me for and for the life of me I couldn't find it or remember it, so I grabbed a size 8. I walk back to her and say "I only found an 8, will that be OK?" she looked at me for a few seconds lost in thought, it seemed odd that she would do that but then she said "I didn't ask for help" Oh boy I was still high! "Sorry about that mam" and I walked across the room to the right lady sitting down waiting for me to bring the shoes and again I say "I only found an 8, will that be OK?" and again that blank stare. I was beginning to get frustrated thinking that I was going crazy, but then she said "That's the size I asked for to begin with sir" ah OK, I turned bright red and just gave her the shoes. I swore never to smoke and work at the same time after that little mishap.

I shortly got fired and stopped smoking weed because of a bad high, not the brightest of many dumb decisions I have made in my life but they sure do make for great stories right?

Churn baby Churn!

This little jewel was inspired by a fellow blogger, he has a recent story up and it actually brought back memories of an event that had transpired that I guess was so bad it scared me and the only thing I can think of is that I blocked the event from my mind, but once I read his blog flashbacks of what I once did started to come back, like the palpitations of my heart slow and steady.

I don't remember the year but it must have been around 2000 or 2001 , I was employed at the local AV Car Wash and well business was not booming and I didn't like that job much. I was ready to move on to bigger and better things, oh but I wasn't ready for this blow, not yet. I wasn't able to get a job, I looked for a bit and down in my luck I went to the mall with my then best friend Adrian, his girlfriend and her cousin who had a major crush on me, Its hard not to imagine this happening often as I was a great looking piece of man. Picture this if you will; Standing at an amazing length of 5 feet 9 inches, the weight of a feather weight, a solid 130 lbs, milky white skin, mouth full of metal (braces), spiky red hair, I mean dreamy. Well there we were walking around the AV mall. As we walked by the food court I noticed that there was a new food stand, something I have never seen before. There it was in bright Red, Yellow and Blue writing "Hot Dog on a Stick" it was as if it was asking me to come, inviting me if you will to partake of the riches that awaited for me in the inside of the ranks.

To this day I have no Idea why I applied there but I did, I gave my application back to the manager and like all other jobs I expected a call back a few days later for an interview, but boy was I wrong. As soon as I handed the application I started to retreat when the manager asked me if I had time to start the interview process right away, I was a bit shocked that it worked out so well so fast. I said sure why not, I was in need of a job and here was an opportunity plus how bad could it be?

This is how I felt before I saw the uniform I had to ware, you see the manager told me as he handed me the uniform, "This is an audition to see if you fit and are cut out to be part of our Hot Dog on a Stick family" There was several other people there applying or as he referred to it "Auditioning" for this coveted position. I took my uniform that was folded o so neatly and headed to the bath room. I was standing in there with a look of disbelieve, have you ever seen their uniforms? Well I looked like a total moron, the shirt was a bit snug and bright, the hat was hideous and o to my favorite part of the whole outfit, the shorts. They were blue and so short, I am not a fan of my legs so I don't like using shorts but my Audition was close at hand and I needed to get in character. I sagged those shorts as far down as I could but still they did not reach my knees at all. It was a bit hard getting out of that bathroom stall but I was in need of money, here went nothing!

I get to the back after walking by my friend and his girl and her cousin, my face match my hair color perfect!. There I was making a fool of my self with the dumbest outfit I have ever put on. So on I went to my audition, the guy had us dip some corn dogs and gave us a few tips on how this art was done the right way. It was all OK so far as we were in the back away from people but the grand finale was at hand, oh yeah the Lemonade Churn. I know what you thinking, no big deal just churn and that's it. But oh you are so wrong, we had to do this in front of the whole congregation which is the mall food court. So there we were looking like idiots suited up for the opportunity of our lives! to be a true blue Hot Dog on a Stick member. It was now my turn at the lemonade churning and I remember looking up at the people walking by staring and smiling but not in a flirtatious way, more in a "you guys look like retards" kind of way, man I was just about done with this audition but one more task was at hand, bring on the CHURN.

Churn baby churn, churn baby churn! is all I kept thinking in my head remembering that Fresh Prince of Bel Air episode where Ashley gets a job at the Dippity Doo Dog which now that I think about it is a big rip off of our beloved franchise. I was churning that lemonade like no ones business as I made a complete fool of my self. I remember that Manager asking us how we felt to what I replied "Great" but in my head I was cursing him and this damn place out. My audition didn't go so well, the manager pulled me aside and told me that I wasn't Hot Dog on the Stick material, but he thanked me for my effort. I was compensated for that ridiculous display, 15 dollars to be exact. I don't think I have ever been so glad to be told that I wasn't cut out to be part of a company before but I took my 15 dollars and gave back that dumb outfit and went and had myself a life..... oh what could have been if I were to be hired? where would I be now? maybe my life would be different but I don't care to find out how.

Mission Possible

This just in, it appears that David R, I repeat David R has gone in to the world famous Provo Bakery and has successfully acquired a box of goodness (code word for Doughnuts) a dozen to be exact. More will be revealed as we get our information from our inside source......

Mission Impossible

This is a story of agony, of pain and of anguish mixed with a bit of martial arts, midgets and explosions. How hard is it for a kid to have been dreaming of something for so long, like a trip to Disney Land and he or she comes to find out that daddy and mommy are flat broke so instead of going to Disney this year son/daughter we are going to Trafalga! ha? no? nothing? well that is how hurt and disappointed I was, this.... is ..... my endless heart brake.

Lets start from when I first tasted the goodness which is known around the world as The Provo Bakery, My hermano Brian has a tradition when ever we go to Idaho to visit the Family, he always brings them goodness in the shape of doughnuts. Now until this last time we went for our Nephew's baptism I had not had these little round treasures, but I made the grave mistake of actually partaking of the joy this last trip. I had what I consider to be the best doughnut ever, raspberry covered. Oh! I am getting a bit hungry for some as we speak. I put it in the microwave for 10 seconds and I had a big glass of milk to go with it.... it was life altering. Never had I known that doughnuts could be so good, they should be illegal because of how addicting they can be.

Fast forward to 3 weeks ago, I was not feeling so great. I was coming down with the flu and I hate being sick because I almost never get sick, but when I do it takes a bit to get rid of it. So I decided to take a half day from work, it was a Wednesday morning and I had been craving some Provo Bakery since that fateful day in Idaho. So I called my wife and told her I would be stopping by to pick up some goodness (code word for doughnuts). I pull up and I'm like a boy at a candy store..... but this candy store was a doughnut store and the boy was me, so in a way nothing different but..... OK you get the point. I start to salivate allot, I don't know where to begin so I do what any normal man would do in this situation, I ordered an assorted dozen that way I can fall in love 12 times.

It was a joyous week because we had goodness in the home, it lasted long enough for my wife and I to get addicted, so when they were gone our home felt a bit empty. Somehow coming home from work was not the same, I felt a void in me and I couldn't point it out. It felt like something had died inside of us. It was hard, the withdrawals were severe and painful. Specially with the flu and nothing to cope with. It was a lonely week and then I decided last week that I would stop to get some more goodness, a dozen but only this time we would get only Apple Fritters, Raspberry doughnuts, and my wife's favorite the Butter Milk ones. It was a beautiful sight to imagine, our home would once again be filled with love and joy.

It was Monday, I drive after work to accomplish my mission, get a dozen doughnuts and get out, but sneak a bite or 2 just to ease the nerves. I drive up to the building and it looked a bit desolate like in the spaghetti westerns, tumble weeds rolling by without a care, the noise of wind whistling off cracks from the walls and of the trees. I was a bit nervous, my heart jacked up the palpitations to its max, my palms started to gather perspiration, my mouth got a bit dry from anxiety but like a man I was ready for the outcome. I got off my trusty steed (2000 Nissan Maxima) with both arms out on both sides, my fingers twirling to my sides as if ready to draw my guns off the holsters I walked up slowly to what came as a surprise..... the door had a sign that read Hours of Operation Tuesday trough Saturday till 6 pm closed Sunday and Monday. NO!!!!! I yelled out at the top of my lungs, dropping to my knees in shock and terror. How would I overcome this great blow? would I be able to get back up? would I be the same ever again? only time would tell.

I Finlay snapped out of it and regained consciousness, I took out my phone and dialed the boss.

The Boss (Jenny): Did you get it?

The Henchman (David): No, we stumbled across a bit of a problem

The Boss (Jenny): What is it?

The Henchman (David): They are closed on Monday
The Boss (Jenny): How is that possible? the plan was perfect!
The Henchman (David): I know, I am sorry this happened. Please give me another chance and I will accomplish the mission tomorrow, one more day is all I ask.
The Boss (Jenny): Fine, you have one more day to carry out this mission before I pull you off it. But I still need something from you today, I need a treat.
The Henchman (David): Copy, I shall retrieve something from the gas station. I will not let you down!
The Boss (Jenny): I know you wont, or else.

I drove to Texaco to get her some hot Cheetos and a powdered doughnuts for a snack. Tuesday came around and the anticipation was high, I was walking towards my trusty steed when the boss texted me, "Getting Doughnuts?" to what I replied "Yes, on my way" I was on a mission, not only for my sake but for the boss's sake as well. Knowing that her butter milk cravings were getting out of control I needed to accomplish this or else all would be lost. I drove up, I was determined to finish the task at hand with flying colors. I open the door and with a burst of machismo I said "I need a dozen" to what the girl said "OK, what would you like?" oh man I had been waiting for those words to reverberate from within my ear drums for almost 2 weeks and now it was here. "I would like... 4 raspberry ones" I say, so she grabs 4 of them. "OK, what else?" she asked, "I would like 4 apple fritters please" she starts monitoring the display, with disbelief I i closed my eyes and thought of a happy place where doughnuts never run out, where you can eat as much junk food as you want and never get fat, but that thought was disturbed by the worst thing I have heard in a good while. "We are actually out of apple fritters" she replayed. What?! no apple fritters? what is this? where am I? the twilight zone? this can't be, "No apple fritters? well do you have some in the back?" I say in a panic. "No I'm afraid we don't" she calmly responds, does she not care about my cravings? "OK what about 4 of the butter milk ones" I say, and again she starts looking for them. "Ah, no we are out of those as well"

Can you believe this? what was I to do? I stand there struck with a glare of disappointment, my mouth was wide open, as if I had just witnessed a murder or something horrible. "But those are the only ones I want" I respond, so she tells me with a smile "Well, would you like to place an order for tomorrow?". No I don't want to place an order for tomorrow! what are you mad?! I need my fix now woman!, and you don't have what I want, com on!. "Just cancel the order"I said and with a sad face I retreated back to my steed and called the boss.

The Boss (Jenny): Well, do you have them?
The Henchman (David): Negatory, they are out
The Boss (Jenny): What?!
The Henchman (David): Yes, they are out of fritters and butter milk
The Boss (Jenny): Well you are out of this one, I shall get them from some one else
The Henchman (David): But from who?
The Boss (Jenny): I don't know, Albertsons?
The Henchman (David): Are you kidding, once you have these everything else is garbage.
The Boss (Jenny): Well Ill think of something, for the time being go back to the hide out. Ill see you when I'm done with work

So to this mission impossible there is no happy ending, we have yet to eat goodness from the Provo Bakery, and its Thursday. I'm starting to itch a bit, but its OK because I shall try again on Saturday, one last attempt at completing this mission. You hear that world? I shall do this no matter what! stay tuned Until next time.

I Pray for Strength

"The Miniature Schnauzer is a breed of small dog of the Schnauzer type that originated in Germany in the mid-to-late 19th century. Miniature Schnauzers developed from crosses between the Standard Schnauzers and one or more smaller breeds such as the Poodle or Affenpinscher. The breed remains one of the most popular, and as of 2007 is the 11Th most popular breed in the U.S"

as Quoted by Wikipedia.

This is a picture of Shyli as a new born, she is adorable beyond words. My wife and I are so happy to have her and she is truly making Sammy a whole lot more active and happy. Let me take you back to the tale and the adventure it has been trying to get a puppy for Sammy.

It all starts July 4Th, 2008, our neighbors the Wilmer's had 2 Mini Schnauzers, Bella the girl and Billy the boy. They had just had a litter of 4, and honestly I had not even been wanting to get another dog as with Sammy we had the perfect dog, he is 5 years old and so well behaved, he is well mannered and so calm. My friend Mitch gave him the name "The Butler" because he just comes and sits next to you just to make sure you are comfortable. Jenny her brother Brian, Sister Cristina, our Niece Lindsey and I were coming home from my sisters 4Th of July bash. We had one thing in our minds and that was some sweet Piedra Fria or Cold Stone as the white folk refer to it, so we stop by the house to drop Sammy off and to get some cash for our endeavors when we spot Jason Wilmer watering his front yard, I go over to say hello and ask him about the dogs, how they doing and if they had gotten rid of all the puppies, he said that they had one left, a girl. My niece heard this with her child bionic ears and yells out "Puppies!? I want to see the puppies!" so I asked him if he could bring her out so that she could get her vice taken care of. The following events took me by surprise.

There we were sitting in the front yard waiting for Jason to comeback with the dog, when he finally returned he was caring this little black ball of fur, and I fell in love with her. I have always been a sucker for dogs and until Shyli I had never owned a puppy of my own. Lindsey is loving on her like any 9 year old would but there I was like a dog on heat holding back the urge to grab the puppy from her and run!. I remained calm and my wife was the next one to hold her and she says out loud as she is getting the dog "Aw its Bridget!" and I look at her like what? she just melted Jenny's heart, and I was happy because she had me too. I look at her and tell her, "We could get her if you want, it be nice to have a Friend for Sammy" She was contemplating the thought, we went as far as to take the dog for the night to see how Sammy would react to her, but when the time came to make the choice my wife and I decided it wasn't the right time for a puppy.

Time went on and I was so puppy sick, I just really wanted one, I would sit at work for hours looking at KSL dog adds. I eventually came to an arrangement with Jenny, we would wait 9 months and then for my birth day we would get one, to what I agreed but honestly 9 months was way long to ease my dog fix. I eventually found another Mini Schnauzer for real cheap, I told Jenny and again she had to talk me out of it as it was something we just did not need nor were able to afford. We changed the time from 9 months to till after we got a car as our old Ford Station Waggon "Sally" was giving out on us. Time moved on and October was upon us, we were the owners of a new car so as we had agreed we were in the clear to get a puppy. Not far from the first day of November Jason Wilmer comes up to say hello and to tell me that Bella is pregnant, I was so excited that I told Jenny right away. For sure the time had to be right, she wasn't due till late November, which actually turned to December and Finally on December 9Th the puppies were born. As a gesture of friendship the Wilmer's gave us the first Pick of the litter, so I let my wife have her pick, and she picket out the cutest girl, she was always shaking, so my wife named her Shyli, because she was Shy..... or so we thought.

We brought Shyli home on the 23th of January, and we could not be any happier. She was so adorable, our first taste of what a baby might be like. I know she is just a dog and that a kid is much more work but if you think about it having a pet is just as hard as having kids, in no way am I comparing the two but I like to see it that way. Jenny wakes up at 3:30 am to take her potty every day, I come home for my lunch at 11 to let her out, we need to feed her 3 times a day and sometimes we come home to messes in her kennel. Its not an easy task and I can honestly say that at times she does get the best of me, but like all good things, it takes time, effort and a bit of work to get the best out of them, and she is a part of this family now. She is no longer that shy and shaky puppy, she is now an energetic and independent baby dog who just won't leave poor Sammy alone, she is always biting him so I gave her the nickname "The Piranha". She is a hand full at times but for the most part we love having her with us and even Sammy has warmed up to her antics. I shall try to keep my emotions calm as I need to be patient with her. I pray for strength.. Help me Cesar Millan! help me Barbara Woodhouse!, help me Paul Owens! please help me someone?...... but honest, with a face like that how could you stay mad at her?

Her First Bath

Her First Time Home

Her Sleeping inside of Jenny's coat hoodie

The art of forgiveness

For the people who know me know that I am a die hard fan of the BYU football team, I just love the thrill of having a home football team that I can root for. If you live in Orem or Provo you know that since Bronco Mendenhall took over as coach the team has been getting better and better, thus making the tickets harder to buy, specially if you like to wait until game day like I used to. This is a story of love, of how the human heart can act in the worst of cases, of how one must learn to just laugh at life's hard moments.

It had been a great year for the Cougars and I was able to score tickets for a few home games, I was dating Jennifer Young (now Jennifer Roura) and she was not a big football fan like I am, the closest she been to being a fan was in High School, she was a cheerleader for school and to her credit she was not familiar at all with football or its rules, so I took it upon myself to change that (if she was going to be dating this hunk of man, she sure as heck was going to learn to love my Cougars).

The days were getting close to the end of the season and I was trying my hardest to keep up with the ticket purchases, I was just not used to having to fight for the right to own a 17 dollar piece of paper that gave me the right to have an uncomfortable bench all the way up in the nose bleeders. So I got in the habit of buying the tickets early at the Marriott Center. It was getting better to this point I had been to a couple of games so I decided that one more would be great. Jenny and I decided that we would go to one last game with her brother Brian, keep in mind that to this point Brian wasn't sold on the idea that I was going to be taking his baby sister away from him. So 2 week prior to the game we go and get the tickets and its all love man! I mean we got tickets and I was loving it.

The day of the game was upon us, Brian calls me and asks me if I know of anyone who would like 2 tickets to the game, so the first person I think of is my man Andres, so I say "yeah man, I think I know someone" So I call him up and he is like "you kidding right?, the game is sold out" I said "man you know I got's the hook up Dwag!" in my best effort to pretend I'm gangsta. Jenny and Brian come to my home and we take off to that fateful event that for all I know was a make or brake for our future life. I had been guarding the tickets like crazy, I had them in a white envelope in my jacket inner pocket the whole time and I was not about to take them off my eyes.
We picked up the extra 2 tickets for my friend and his son and off we go to the circus which is finding parking for the game when it had already started, if you been you know that it is literal hell trying to find a spot. I was driving my Jeep and to find a spot for that car was not going to be easy, but I was up for the challenge. We finally get there and it is a mad house and if there is one thing I hate is not being able to find a parking spot when something sweet is waiting for me. We eventually found a spot but as It was a challenge to park, I handed Jenny my ticket and hers with out the envelope, as well as Andre's 2 other tickets, Brian had his as well. I finally parked the car after a few maneuvers and near misses of another car's bumper.

On we go to the game, we start walking and the conversation is all great, laughter, love and joy but boy was that about to change. Andres lived in American Fork so he was just going to call us as soon as he got the stadium for his tickets. We had walked a good mile from where we had parked and I get the feeling to ask Jenny for the tickets, she grabs hers out of her coat pocket but she tells me that I have my ticket and the two extra ones also, my heart literally sunk to the pit of my stomach, my eyes got big and wide with disbelief, I retaliate "No baby, I gave them all to you when I was parking the car remember?" please say you do, I told myself. To this she starts remembering, "Oh yes you did" I was so glad to hear her say that, my heart beat was back to normal, my eyes shrunk down to their normal size. I began to smile again, but that smile faded when I saw her checking all of her pockets, jacket, pants, purse, nothing.

"I don't know where they are baby" I was getting so angry inside that as I am writing I am getting sick to my stomach at how much something so little could anger me. She was beginning to see my frustration, the mood was down now, it was no longer a glorious day but a sad a dark one. A day we had been looking forward to for almost 2 weeks was now a dreaded situation, I was holding back so many emotions, and I am sure Jenny felt so bad and dumb that she had lost the tickets, the tickets to her boyfriends addiction. I was ready to yell out but I didn't want to make a scene, I told them Ill be back Ill go back to where we parked and maybe ill find them. On my way back I was talking to myself, asking myself "why did you give her the tickets?" If only I would have kept them like I had for 2 weeks none of this would be happening, but now it was to late, I found myself walking all the way back to the car scanning the floor for anything that resembled 3 BYU tickets, but no luck. I was hoping that I would be able to find them inside or around the car but again no such luck. I had been dealing with some anger issues and I let the situation get the best of me, I punched the fender of the car and gave it a dent that was there until a bigger dent hid it from sight when Jenny got in a car accident last year, but that's another story.

I walk back to where they were hoping to see them giving me the thumbs up, in despair I got no such response. I was so mad, but what could we do? only Jenny and Brian had tickets and I didn't. Jenny was feeling so bad and mad that she told me why don't you and Brian go and ill just go home, for some reason that made me mad because we had just lost 3 tickets!.... I was like No! that's dumb, not the best reaction from me, she saw the anger and that made her react to it the same way, she got her ghetto attitude tone and said, "I didn't mean for it to happen, and you ain't making this any easier on me!" I was so fed up I was like what ever!, we start walking to the stadium and Jenny starts walking with Brian in front of me, and then among all that anger and frustration I hear Brian like always trying to defuse the mood, to cut the tension. Laughing and playing with Jenny trying to make her feel better about the issue he said "Gonka, don't worry this could have happened to any one of us, just know that one day you can tell this story to your kids" I was just amazed that he could take such a bad situation and turn it in to something to tally different. My eyes were opened, I felt like such a moron for making the woman I love feel stupid, this is not what a boyfriend is supposed to do... right?

I walked up to her and apologized for acting so dumb, the tickets were gone and there was nothing no one could do now but laugh. We eventually got in the stadium with the 2 tickets that were left, I called Andres and told him the bad news, he was disappointed but not mad. As for me I could hardly enjoy the game, I was so focused on how I made Jenny feel that I was overtaken by guilt. I learned that day that once someone forgives you the hardest thing to do is to forgive yourself. As time passed this proved to be the making point for our relationship, Brian saw that I was humble enough to apologize for being an idiot, and he embraced me as a brother. The Art of Forgiveness is a beautiful thing to have, I know that those tickets were meant to be lost, so that we could go through this right of passage if you will to see how much we truly loved and respected one another.