Drawing a blank

I think that I have run out of stories to tell......



"Gun, gun, he's got a gun!" is all I remember hearing as my friends and I took off running as fast as we could. I kept telling myself "I'm going to get shot, I'm going to die!," how could I have been so dumb? why did I put myself in these situations? but this is not where this story starts, oh no, this starts early on that same day.

It was lunch time, and there I was chilling with my boys at the "spot" which was a rail right in front of the lunch service area, we thought we were tough. It was a Friday and we were all stoked that the week end was upon us, its funny because it's the same now that I'm sitting here writing this story, Friday and I'm ready to go home. Well it was Friday and that was great but on top of it there was a dance, the Morp, which is "Prom" spelled backwards. It's a casual dance, where the girls ask the guys and everyone can attend. It was the happening thing as these dances were the place to pick up on people and just go crazy. The day went by and school was out, I walked home to relax and to get ready for the event that was about to happen.

Sitting in my room contemplating the the closet, thinking about what to wear. I kept looking at the selection that was in front of my eyes, and I did not know what to ware, and now you know what time it is.... CHECK LIST TIME!
  • Slightly spiky hair: Check

  • Blue short sleeve plaid shirt from Wally World: Check

  • Baggie Dicky cargo pants: Check

  • Brand new Rebook high tops: Check

  • Chap Stick: Check

  • Double Mint Gum (Double the pleasure, double the fun): Check

  • Cologne (Michael Jordan, not a breath refresher): Check

  • Mouth full of metal (Braces): Check
I felt like a hundred bucks, I was ready to party, ready to mingle and ready to make out with some poor girl (Imagine, not the best kisser with braces). By the time I was done with the check list it was about 8:30 pm and the dance had started. This is a must when you go to a party or dance, always make it a personal goal to show up late as this will enhance your entrance, unless people see you as a nerd or looser in which case you won't be noticed no matter how late you show up, sorry I don't make the rules. The year was 1999 my junior year, and music was the thing that life revolved around for most teens our age and at that time for me it was Deep House (please don't ask) and I thought that I could dance to it well, Hip Hop was great as well and as always I was all about it but for some reason I was in love with Deep House, and the way the "Rebels" danced to it. If you were in Cali around that time you know what I'm talking about. There I was walking in and all the lights were off in the Gym, the Strobe lights flashing off and on so fast that it made things look as if everything was moving in slow motion. Everyone in the middle of the dance floor getting their groove on to the sounds of DMX's "Party Up" , I recall the Bass thumping and rattling my every thought. I walked around to check out the action, as I always did also looking for anyone I knew. I finally found my buddy Chris and his girlfriend Valery (Her and I had a complicated past) So I casually said hello to the both of them trying not to bring up any past issues or memories. I walked away and ran in to my buddy Darrin, him and I were starting to build a good relationship, I was happy to have someone to try and pick up some digits with.

The night went on and we danced with a few girls we knew, loving the way the night was turning out, we had run in to some of our friends, Danny was there and he was good friends with Chris and Darrin as well as with myself, as the dance started to wrap up I remember talking to Darrin about 2pac (this was a topic that him and I could talk about hours) and his best songs, all the sudden we hear Valerie crying and it grabbed our attention so we stopped what we were doing to stare at her and Chris talking, I thought "Oh no, they broke up because I'm too much for her to not think about, poor fool but I don't blame her," but I was way off. I saw Chris's face and he was hot (angry) all the sudden I see him walking toward us, I got a little tense thinking of what I could have done or say to make her cry and him so mad, but I was stunned to hear what he had to say.

"What?!" was our reaction, I remember Danny getting so mad it was kind of scary, he was a bit unstable when it came to throwing blows. Turns out that a guy named Jerome got in to some words with Valerie and slapped her, I don't care how in your face or rude a woman is to you, you should never lay your hands on a woman. He asked us to get his back as he was going to confront Jerome outside so we said yes. There we were 4 guys ready for some words and fists to fly, it felt like the movie Reservoir Dogs when all the guys are walking down the alley way in slow motion with some sort of music joining our every step. We get to the front gate where Jerome was talking to a girl and we let Chris go and confront him, we weren't about to jump the kid, this was Chris's problem and he was going to deal with it. "Why did you slap my girl?!," Chris yelled out getting pumped up for a fight to what Jerome responded "Man I don't know what you talking about man, get your *bleep* out of here with that." Chris wasn't buying it so he brought Valerie and had her tell him right there what happened, she did and again Chris got in Jerome's face more aggressively, "Why did you hit her you *bleep*?, you never hit a woman, now I'm going to whoop your *bleep*," I think Jerome was a bit scared because he just keep saying he didn't do nothing and walked away. Its done I thought but it had just started.

About 10 minutes of being gone, we see a fleet of people and right in front was Jerome with Percy and another guy I didn't know, to our luck Danny was good friends with Percy who was the big man around, know for his gang affiliations, I thought to my self "Oh man this is going to get ugly" and boy did it. Now that he was backed up by a few of his boys Jerome grew some guts and confronted Chris about the issue saying that he did slap his girl because she deserved it, "what you going to do about it white boy?" I remember him saying out loud, now Chris was not one to be messed with but even he saw that our odds weren't so great, 4 of us and about 10 of them, by any means not a fair fight at all. Jerome kept getting more aggressive by the second and Chris was not backing down, he felt that he would be a hypocrite if he did and I don't blame him. We were there for him if things got out of hand and they were, Danny was trying his best to get Percy and his homies to back off and let Chris and Jerome handle this on their own, but when Jerome heard this he flipped saying that we came at him when he was by himself and didn't back down, "that's a lie" I said out loud, "he came to you by himself and you know it man." Things got more harsh, he started yelling and Chris by this time was fed up and took out what looked like a shank, Jerome noticed and made a big deal and Percy hit the wall, he was way mad at the fact.

"You *bleeping* skin head" Jerome screamed at Chris, he was everything but that, but I could see why he would think that. Chris was White, bald and full of tattoos. Well this kept going on for about 20 minutes and then all the sudden it turned Percy against Chris, Danny was in the middle of it trying to defuse it and he was getting both to calm down, but we didn't see Jerome. When I noticed that he wasn't around is when I heard some one yelling, "Gun, gun, He's got a Gun!," we didn't wait to see if this was true or not we broke as fast as we could, we ran for our lives down the street, I kept thinking "I'm going to die, I'm going to get shot, I'm going to get shot and then I'm going to die!," then after we had ran for about 3 blocks I heard what sounded like 3 loud claps, I ran even faster. We finally made it to an apartment complex and jumped in to some bushes, we hid there for about 5 minutes waiting for things to calm down, we saw people running past us, screaming like crazy. My heart was beating out of my chest, I was so shaken that my hands could not stop shaking. Darrin was right next to me, and Danny next to him. We all separated and went our own way after about 30 minutes of waiting things out, I later found out that Chris and Valerie got away just fine, no one was hurt as far as I know, and to be honest I don't know if a single round was fired at all or if my mind was so in to the moment that something that sounded like gun shots scared me half to death. That was an interesting night, I kept a low profile after as I didn't want to get in to anything that could end my life, and thank God, I was kept away from any harm.



Have you ever done something so bad that you think you are going to jail? Well this is what I felt one hot Summer in Lancaster. The year was about 1998 and we lived in a closed block named Foxboro ct. In a 2 story home, there lived almost my whole family, my brother Luis and his wife Ely, my sister Claudia and her husband David and their 2 kids Itzel and Alex, also my Mom, my sister Ana and her kid Danny and my self. It was a big house and we did this to save money and to be together (not a good idea). It was a great neighborhood when we first moved in in 1996, great place to raise a family.

Not long after my only friend Aaron and his family moved out I met Jamel and Trammel, my first black friends! (I hope that doesn't come off as racist) but until then I had only hung out with Latinos and Whites. We started noticing a big change in the people who started to move in to the block, bigger families, so that meant that less adults, more chances to get in to trouble. There was only one entrance to the street, it was also the only exit that lead to the main avenue, 15Th street east. Cross the street and there was another neighborhood but the entrance to that street was a bit up the road, so the houses who's backs were to the avenue had very high walls, or at least they seemed high to me as I was not able to jump them like all my friends did.

One day we had nothing to do and we had befriended a kid from the other neighborhood, we called him Beavis because he resembled the character made famous by Mike Judge on MTV. He was a bit older and also friends with a few boys in our block. On this day life changed for some of us. There we were trying to be cool with the older kids of the block and we all decided to go to Beavis's house and chill. There we were passing time with nothing to do, I don't remember who had the bright idea but it was suggested that we go in the back yard and throw stuff at cars passing by. This all seemed like a great idea at the time so all of us, Beavis, Jamel, Trammel, George, his little brother Ezekiel, and myself went to his back yard which was a big one with a tool shed, an apple tree (which was our ammo) and enough space to play football if we wanted to but I guess that throwing apples at cars and people was more appealing.

There we were ready to have fun. "Here comes a car, get ready" George yelled out, so we grabbed our apples and and cocked our arm back and began to open fire at our target, in a matter of seconds the car was splattered with apple sauce, it was thrilling to be doing something so stupid, not knowing that we could actually harm someone really bad. But we didn't care so we continued with our fun little target practice, the next victim was a guy on a motorcycle but what we didn't realize is that he had a little kid on the back, which so happened to be his son. Beavis and Trammel opened fire on the poor Innocent target and all I remember was hearing the bike swerve out of control as the attack came as a surprise. We expected the guy to yell out loud belligerently and continue but boy were we wrong.

As we peeked out to see what happened, the bike stopped. The guy made sure his kid was OK, while all this happened there was another guy walking by who witnessed the event that had just happened and went to the guy's rescue. After they made sure the kid was OK, he was just a bit shook up. They broke for the wall of the house were we were, as we saw them running towards us we booked it. I remember running to hide in the tool shed with Jamel and Trammel. The door shut behind us leaving just a crack, enough for us to hear the 2 men jumping over the wall, I was so scared, breathing so heavy I was begging to worry that the guys would hear me and bust in there and take us all down. I remember looking around the tool shed and looking at my 2 friends, tears were coming down their eyes, tears of fear and adrenaline mixed together was my best guess, I was moved by their emotion so much that I too began to tear up.

The shed began to be silent and we figured we were clear, maybe the guys looked around and didn't find anyone so they left. My mind and soul started to calm down, I was so tense I didn't realize that I was gripping a pipe so tight that my fingers began to cramp up once I started relaxing. My calm thoughts were short lived, we started walking to the the door to see if they were gone, as we got closer I could hear foot steps on the grass, so I knew they were still looking for us. Then I saw something that made me freeze, I saw one of the men walking towards the tool shed. Staring right in to his eyes I thought to my self, "I'm so busted" but to my surprise out of the corner of my eye I see Beavis making a brake for it, that was the wrong choice but because of him doing that he saved 3 of us.

As the 2 guys saw him running off, they gave chance after him. It was now or never, the 3 of us busted out of the tool shed to meet up with Gorge and his brother. I remember hiding behind the door that lead the back yard to the front yard waiting for the right time, I saw the 2 guys running after Beavis in circles as he was trying to evade them, but that came to an end because they both just tackled him to the ground. This was our cue to run for it, so we busted out the door as fast as we could. We sprinted as fast as our legs gave us the chance, I kept looking back to see the 2 guys walking back in the house with Beavis, I was so scared that they would call the cops on us, that our police sketches would be plastered all over the news, to make matters worse we had just watch Sleepers the night before, this movie was similar to what had just happened. Kids doing something dumb hurt someone and they go to jail and get abused bad. I didn't want to end up like this so I ran and ran as much as I could, I remember my legs burning, my chest aching, I was gasping for air, but I couldn't stop, not yet I had to get away. We ran for about a mile, until we realize that they weren't following us at all.

We were all tripping, wondering what to do next, how could we go back to our house? there was one entrance back and we were sure there would be cops all over looking for us, so we cut through the apartment buildings that were right next door to our block. We jumped the wall and all went to our home. There I was sweating like I had just ran for my life (which I did), I remember my sister asking me what was wrong, and I spilled my guts out, I told her everything. She look at me saying "Are you stupid? do you not remember that movie we watched last night? remember what they did to dose kids?" (see I told you it was similar) "I know, I know, you don't have to remind me, I saw the movie as well" I told her, I was so ready for this day to be over that I just went to my room and turned some music on.

Turns out that Beavis never gave any names, claiming that he was acting on his own. We never got in trouble for this stupid stunt of ours. I sure learned my lesson but not all of us did. Eventually Beavis was involved in a shooting with some guys that he befriended from our block. He is currently serving time in prison. Jamel went on to College while his brother Trammel became a drug dealer, not sure what happened to George or his brother as we distanced ourselves from them as much as we could. We all eventually moved out of the block, and as for me I'm here telling you what happened during a hot summer day 11 years ago..... Life is sweet.


The Goliath Dubie

Can any one from California tell me what is the happiest place on earth? no not Disneyland but.... you guessed it Six Flags Magic Mountain! (for a teenager this place is like Disneyland on crack). Being a teenager this is the place to be during the summer, so like many teenagers my buddies and I would go constantly. This story is one of stupidity, emotion and an just being at the wrong place at the wrong time, this is The Goliath Dubie.

It was the Summer of... oh I don't know 2000? sounds good to me. I was hanging out with my partner in crime Adrian (I told you I have many stories that involve this moron) and his cousin who was out in Lancaster with us for the Summer from his East L.A. home. We did everything together that summer, it was fun and full of many funny moments. It was Adrian's girlfriends birthday and her dad had money to spare and her mom hated her dad so she took advantage of the situation and got her dad to pay for all of us to go to Six Flags as her birth day gift, her mom would be driving us there. We were stoked, going to Six Flags in the Summer had become a routine for us, we had been to every single ride in that park and we loved it. This Summer was a special one because Goliath was brand new and the fact that we were going for free was just as exciting as a new ride.

There we were, getting off the mini van that Adrian's mother in law drove. The day was perfect, sunny and hot, not a cloud in the sky. Thinking to myself "I'm getting some digits today" I got suited for action.... CHECK LIST TIME!
  • Red hair: Check

  • Black and Red Eminem Slim Shady shirt that is way to big for me: Check

  • Yellow Nike windbreaker jogging pants rolled up to show my gastroc-soleus (look it people): Check

  • Red High top Chuck Taylor's stuffed at the tongue to make my foot look fat (don't ask) with the top folded down to look Gangsta: CHECK!
I was ready to pimp around the teenager playground I like calling Six Flags Magic Mountain. We start walking to the the entrance after we had our tickets handed to us, and like any theme park you have the annoying camera people trying to take your picture as you walk in, so we took one. I still have this picture, I stood in the middle with Adrian to my left and his Cousin to my right, striking our pose trying our hardest to mad dog the camera to look tough. We were all stoked to be there, the smell of funnel cake pierced my nostrils every time we walked in. There we were, Adrian and his Girlfriend Amy, his Cousin, Roxy who is Amy's Cousin who had a crush on me, and my self, all young, dumb and ready to enjoy a day full of screaming and adrenaline, or so we thought.

We all decided that we didn't want to do anything but to get on Goliath to start the day, so we went straight to it. The line was long, way long (if you been there it was out by the actual letters or maybe past that) so we got in line, all happy and excited. Chatting as the line moved so slow we kept staring at the ride as it went up up up up up.... just thinking about the noise they make it makes my hands sweat, hearing the "clank clank clank clank clank clank" just as you get to the very top and then they just let you look out at your surroundings for just a split second and then voom! off to the bottom you go, man I miss the rush of the thrilling speeds. I don't know if I mentioned that my buddy Adrian was a major pot head back then (he enrolled in the navy so that had to stop) and his cousin wasn't any better. I didn't smoke anymore because of a really bad high that scared me off weed for good.

Adrian was a bit hooked on weed and was feeling his vice coming back and told his cousin, "hey man lets go to the bathroom real quick to light this blunt up before we hit the ride, it will make it so much better!" to what his cousin said "sure man" and off they were to the nearest bath room which was about 100 feet from where we were. The girls and I stayed in line waiting for it to move, I was so used to them smoking around me that I didn't think nothing of it so I didn't say anything. We waited for about 10 to 15 minutes and we were getting closer to going through the Goliath gate so Amy asked me if I could go and get the guys, I said sure ill be right back.

It was about 11:30 am and we had the whole day ahead of us, I walked in the bathroom and looked around for them but I couldn't see them, I walked all the way back to the stalls and there they were hiding, taking the last puffs. "Lets go man, the line is almost through the gate" I said to them and they responded "OK we have like 2 more hits, we will be right out" I said OK and turned around and closed the door of the stall behind me, the bathroom was empty but as I started walking I noticed a man walking in with a hat and shades, I thought nothing of it. Right before we passed each other he screams at me at the top of his lung capacity "Get your hands against the wall now!" I did not know what to do as I was in shock, he grabbed me and slammed me against the wall and told me to keep my hands in the air and not to move, he walked to the back and yelled out "Get out with your hands out now!" and I looked over to see him cuffing Adrian and his cousin and he told us "I'm undercover security for this park, and you guys are in deep poo" (he used the other word)

We started walking out of the bathroom where another guy was waiting for his partner, so they both took us to the security office like we were criminals, well I guess they were but I was Innocent, and I kept telling him that I didn't do anything but he just ignored me. This was not turning out the way I planed it at all. We were walked out of the park by where you buy the tickets when you first walk in, there was a room that was camouflaged to look like just another wall, but the guy opened the door and there it was, I very low budget security room, stuffy and smelly. About 4 other guys where in there dressed normal to when I realised they were all undercover. There we were sitting against the wall, hot and sweaty missing the fun and I'm sure that the girls were worried like crazy because we never came back. The Security people started asking us questions, like interrogation. What were you guys doing in there? How much weed did you smoke? who was your dealer? you guys are in so much trouble, the cops are on their way. I have heard these threats once before at this place but that's a whole other story.

To make the story short, we were there until about 4 pm locked in this room. All i kept thinking about was how mad I was at these two numb nuts for getting me in trouble. I had convinced the security guys I didn't do anything and that they could run a drug test if they wanted, I had nothing to hide. As for the other two morons they had to be escorted out of the park and were not to return for a good time, the reason we had been waiting in there for so long is because we needed to be handed over to an adult but Amy's mom wasn't coming back for us until way later. As I sat there all I could hear was the rides going over and over, the screams of the people on them, the laughter, the foot steps as people passed by the secret security room planning out their day, I remember looking at Adrian and his cousin an being so mad at them and they were smiling as their high slowly faded away. We were eventually let go, Amy had been asking around for us and was finally lead to security, she was told of what had happened and called her mom, she came as soon as she could.

It was now about 5pm and our day was done, I was glad to be out in the open again. Amy's mom was mad and so was Amy, and so was I. The ride home was quiet and lets just say that I never went back to Six Flags with Adrian for the rest of my life in California.

Now the moral of this story is this: Don't smoke weed because its bad for you and you will get kicked out of Six Flags, and please try to avoid having friends who smoke all together. Until next time faithful readers.


No Love for "Big Love"

So there is yet another hit on the sacred ordinances of the church, another attack towards The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This one comes to us thanks to the good people at HBO and also thanks to Forest Gump himself, every one's beloved do-good actor Tom Hanks who is a producer of the show

Big Love
is is an American television drama about a family in Utah that practices polygamy. The creators of the show assured to the Church that they would in no way involve anything related to the LDS faith or believes, but maybe they had their fingers crossed. On the 15Th of March they will be showing an episode that will feature a "depiction in detail" of a temple endowment. If you are LDS you know that this is a big deal! but if you aren't let me put it this way, when you and your wife/husband have sex or make love what ever you call it, do you show every one in the world? or do you keep it to yourself because of how beautiful and sacred and personal it is? Well the same goes with temple work, its not that its secret and we want to keep the world from knowing what goes on in there but its far to sacred to share with everyone. We invite and encourage all who are members of the Church and are worthy Temple Recommend holders to do temple work, but if you don't meet the qualifications you shouldn't know what goes on in there. There is tons of worthy members who don't know what goes on inside the temple as well.

This is just another testament of the true Church, it is Prophecy being fulfilled as we speak. The name of our prophet has been used for both Good and Evil and it will continue, we as members are persecuted for what we believe to be right and just and because we stand up for what we know to be the law of God we are called "narrow minded" and "bigots" this is all fine with me because as my loving wife put it, "We are privileged and blessed to be living in these times and to be witness of the last days" so as Christ did and taught us to do, I shall too turn the left cheek and love and pray for mine enemies. I wish HBO, the cast members of Big Love and any one involved with the show well, may God bless them and listen to them as they will have to answer to allot.


Bad taste in my mouth

People grow and understand that the choices they have made in the past were not the smartest, or the wrong ones. But none the less we learn from every single choice we make and action we take good or bad. This is the story of an action that was a very bone headed one in my behalf but funny enough to write about it.

There I was, looking around the back of shoe store for the right size of shoe the customer had just asked me for and for the life of me I couldn't find it, but this story begins about 2 hours prior to this situation in the front yard of one of my friend's, we had been out of school for about an hour and I had to kill time before I went to work so I was chilling with my buddy Adrian (many stories to tell about him and I) and we decided to head over Ken's house so there we were driving in my 89 Ford Escort GT, oh yeah rolling in high class. This was my first car and I loved it, I had it all pimped out (or so I thought) lowered, exhaust, sound system the works you know how we Cali boys do it. We roll up and we knock on the door and out came Ken and his buddy who's name I can't remember for the life of me.

"Ready to taste some of the good stuff?" Ken asked us to what we replayed in great enthusiasm "Hell yeah man, don't hold out on us" You see I was young and dumb, about 17 years old and I thought like many young men do "I'm the man and smoking a little weed won't hurt me, I can't get addicted" I was right, thank God I never got in to it like my buddy did, he is one of the biggest pot heads I know and here I was walking the same footsteps, but I was cool for chilling with the pot heads I mean this is all high school was about right? fitting in

Deep inside of me I knew I was messing up but somehow I didn't care, it's like I wanted to brake the rules of my house and of my religious believes to show them I wasn't like the rest of the followers, but sadly enough I was all I was trying to avoid. Well back to business, there we were sitting in Ken's front porch, pipe in one hand and the lighter in the other, here we go, this is what separates the men from the kids, the mouse from the lion and I was a Lion, a leader who didn't play by the rules of everyone else, as I light up the pipe I remembered my mom's many talks about drugs, how sad would she be if she saw me right now, how would my brother react? I didn't care so I took my manly puffs. "Puff, puff, give, puff, puff, give" is all I kept thinking, ah the soothing sounds of Cris Tucker's voice echoed in my mind, I was a rebel, braking the law and not caring. Look at me world! I'm a man and I'm smoking weed to prove it, on my friends front porch none the less, that was to show the law that I wasn't scared of them. Why should I be? I was 17 years of age, a man by my standards, I was able to go in to rated R movies without a parent, I could go in to the adult stores (which I did as soon as I turned 17 just to say I did it) I was able to drive by myself, no parental supervision as I now had a real drivers license not a permit.

"Wow, my thoughts are a bit drag dude!" I said out loud, I was high and a bit confused. This was only the second time doing this so I wasn't used to the feeling like my friends were, I remember raising my hand in front of my face and waving back and forward and seeing ghosting of my hand if you will, laughing for no reason, feeling extra slow in thought and speech. To this day I don't know why I got high, I wasn't crazy about it and it was sure enough something that didn't make me feel good, peer pressure is hard to overcome when you are striving for friendship and I was striving to be accepted by these morons. So there we were the four of us, high as can be thinking we all cool. "Well fellows I'm off, can't be late to work" I wasn't making a great impression at work to begin with and I'm sure showing up late and high would make things even better.

"Hey man give me one of those Starburst, my mouth tastes and smells like weed" I told my friend Adrian, he looked at me with a smile and said "Dude I'm out" with a big grin on his face. Great there I was about to drive high to work with the stench of weed in my mouth, whats one to do? I hop in to my car and start driving off, think fast man I kept telling myself. I had some cologne in my car, Michael Jordan to be exact. I had just gotten it for Christmas and I proceeded to spray myself down with it to cover up the smell. Then I began to formulate what I thought at the time was a genius idea, if the smell of the cologne is good enough on clothes and I needed to refresh my breath why not spray my mouth with it?. When people tell you that you can't think straight when you are intoxicated in any way shape or form they are telling the truth. I did one of the dumbest things ever, I opened my mouth wide open and placed the cologne spray right to my tongue, I pressed the top of it and it discharged the liquid all over my mouth.

For a moment I waited for the goodness to spread through my mouth, com on refreshing taste of Michael Jordan do your magic. But it never happened, to my surprise it started to sting and the taste that came about was horrid. But how could this be? It smelled so great it just had to taste just as good right? My mouth tasted so nasty and my tongue started going numb. "Great" I thought, now I won't be able to talk "stupid Adrian taking all the Starburst" I thought to my self. Well I had no choice but to toughen up and just deal with the taste and the numb feeling. So there I was walking up to my job, "Vans Shoe Store" I read as I walked up thinking to myself that the letters were bigger than what I remembered.

Staring at a lady I remembered that she had just asked me to bring her the right size for her to try on our shoe, the Spicoli black and white checkered shoes made famous by Sean Penn in his cult classic Fast Times at Ridgemont High playing, well what do you know, a pot head. Well I ran to the back and there I was, looking around for the right size of shoe the customer had just asked me for and for the life of me I couldn't find it or remember it, so I grabbed a size 8. I walk back to her and say "I only found an 8, will that be OK?" she looked at me for a few seconds lost in thought, it seemed odd that she would do that but then she said "I didn't ask for help" Oh boy I was still high! "Sorry about that mam" and I walked across the room to the right lady sitting down waiting for me to bring the shoes and again I say "I only found an 8, will that be OK?" and again that blank stare. I was beginning to get frustrated thinking that I was going crazy, but then she said "That's the size I asked for to begin with sir" ah OK, I turned bright red and just gave her the shoes. I swore never to smoke and work at the same time after that little mishap.

I shortly got fired and stopped smoking weed because of a bad high, not the brightest of many dumb decisions I have made in my life but they sure do make for great stories right?


Churn baby Churn!

This little jewel was inspired by a fellow blogger, he has a recent story up and it actually brought back memories of an event that had transpired that I guess was so bad it scared me and the only thing I can think of is that I blocked the event from my mind, but once I read his blog flashbacks of what I once did started to come back, like the palpitations of my heart slow and steady.

I don't remember the year but it must have been around 2000 or 2001 , I was employed at the local AV Car Wash and well business was not booming and I didn't like that job much. I was ready to move on to bigger and better things, oh but I wasn't ready for this blow, not yet. I wasn't able to get a job, I looked for a bit and down in my luck I went to the mall with my then best friend Adrian, his girlfriend and her cousin who had a major crush on me, Its hard not to imagine this happening often as I was a great looking piece of man. Picture this if you will; Standing at an amazing length of 5 feet 9 inches, the weight of a feather weight, a solid 130 lbs, milky white skin, mouth full of metal (braces), spiky red hair, I mean dreamy. Well there we were walking around the AV mall. As we walked by the food court I noticed that there was a new food stand, something I have never seen before. There it was in bright Red, Yellow and Blue writing "Hot Dog on a Stick" it was as if it was asking me to come, inviting me if you will to partake of the riches that awaited for me in the inside of the ranks.

To this day I have no Idea why I applied there but I did, I gave my application back to the manager and like all other jobs I expected a call back a few days later for an interview, but boy was I wrong. As soon as I handed the application I started to retreat when the manager asked me if I had time to start the interview process right away, I was a bit shocked that it worked out so well so fast. I said sure why not, I was in need of a job and here was an opportunity plus how bad could it be?

This is how I felt before I saw the uniform I had to ware, you see the manager told me as he handed me the uniform, "This is an audition to see if you fit and are cut out to be part of our Hot Dog on a Stick family" There was several other people there applying or as he referred to it "Auditioning" for this coveted position. I took my uniform that was folded o so neatly and headed to the bath room. I was standing in there with a look of disbelieve, have you ever seen their uniforms? Well I looked like a total moron, the shirt was a bit snug and bright, the hat was hideous and o to my favorite part of the whole outfit, the shorts. They were blue and so short, I am not a fan of my legs so I don't like using shorts but my Audition was close at hand and I needed to get in character. I sagged those shorts as far down as I could but still they did not reach my knees at all. It was a bit hard getting out of that bathroom stall but I was in need of money, here went nothing!

I get to the back after walking by my friend and his girl and her cousin, my face match my hair color perfect!. There I was making a fool of my self with the dumbest outfit I have ever put on. So on I went to my audition, the guy had us dip some corn dogs and gave us a few tips on how this art was done the right way. It was all OK so far as we were in the back away from people but the grand finale was at hand, oh yeah the Lemonade Churn. I know what you thinking, no big deal just churn and that's it. But oh you are so wrong, we had to do this in front of the whole congregation which is the mall food court. So there we were looking like idiots suited up for the opportunity of our lives! to be a true blue Hot Dog on a Stick member. It was now my turn at the lemonade churning and I remember looking up at the people walking by staring and smiling but not in a flirtatious way, more in a "you guys look like retards" kind of way, man I was just about done with this audition but one more task was at hand, bring on the CHURN.

Churn baby churn, churn baby churn! is all I kept thinking in my head remembering that Fresh Prince of Bel Air episode where Ashley gets a job at the Dippity Doo Dog which now that I think about it is a big rip off of our beloved franchise. I was churning that lemonade like no ones business as I made a complete fool of my self. I remember that Manager asking us how we felt to what I replied "Great" but in my head I was cursing him and this damn place out. My audition didn't go so well, the manager pulled me aside and told me that I wasn't Hot Dog on the Stick material, but he thanked me for my effort. I was compensated for that ridiculous display, 15 dollars to be exact. I don't think I have ever been so glad to be told that I wasn't cut out to be part of a company before but I took my 15 dollars and gave back that dumb outfit and went and had myself a life..... oh what could have been if I were to be hired? where would I be now? maybe my life would be different but I don't care to find out how.