I don't remember the year but it must have been around 2000 or 2001 , I was employed at the local AV Car Wash and well business was not booming and I didn't like that job much. I was ready to move on to bigger and better things, oh but I wasn't ready for this blow, not yet. I wasn't able to get a job, I looked for a bit and down in my luck I went to the mall with my then best friend Adrian, his girlfriend and her cousin who had a major crush on me, Its hard not to imagine this happening often as I was a great looking piece of man. Picture this if you will; Standing at an amazing length of 5 feet 9 inches, the weight of a feather weight, a solid 130 lbs, milky white skin, mouth full of metal (braces), spiky red hair, I mean dreamy. Well there we were walking around the AV mall. As we walked by the food court I noticed that there was a new food stand, something I have never seen before. There it was in bright Red, Yellow and Blue writing "Hot Dog on a Stick" it was as if it was asking me to come, inviting me if you will to partake of the riches that awaited for me in the inside of the ranks.
To this day I have no Idea why I applied there but I did, I gave my application back to the manager and like all other jobs I expected a call back a few days later for an interview, but boy was I wrong. As soon as I handed the application I started to retreat when the manager asked me if I had time to start the interview process right away, I was a bit shocked that it worked out so well so fast. I said sure why not, I was in need of a job and here was an opportunity plus how bad could it be?
This is how I felt before I saw the uniform I had to ware, you see the manager told me as he handed me the uniform, "This is an audition to see if you fit and are cut out to be part of our Hot Dog on a Stick family" There was several other people there applying or as he referred to it "Auditioning" for this coveted position. I took my uniform that was folded o so neatly and headed to the bath room. I was standing in there with a look of disbelieve, have you ever seen their uniforms? Well I looked like a total moron, the shirt was a bit snug and bright, the hat was hideous and o to my favorite part of the whole outfit, the shorts. They were blue and so short, I am not a fan of my legs so I don't like using shorts but my Audition was close at hand and I needed to get in character. I sagged those shorts as far down as I could but still they did not reach my knees at all. It was a bit hard getting out of that bathroom stall but I was in need of money, here went nothing!
I get to the back after walking by my friend and his girl and her cousin, my face match my hair color perfect!. There I was making a fool of my self with the dumbest outfit I have ever put on. So on I went to my audition, the guy had us dip some corn dogs and gave us a few tips on how this art was done the right way. It was all OK so far as we were in the back away from people but the grand finale was at hand, oh yeah the Lemonade Churn. I know what you thinking, no big deal just churn and that's it. But oh you are so wrong, we had to do this in front of the whole congregation which is the mall food court. So there we were looking like idiots suited up for the opportunity of our lives! to be a true blue Hot Dog on a Stick member. It was now my turn at the lemonade churning and I remember looking up at the people walking by staring and smiling but not in a flirtatious way, more in a "you guys look like retards" kind of way, man I was just about done with this audition but one more task was at hand, bring on the CHURN.
Churn baby churn, churn baby churn! is all I kept thinking in my head remembering that Fresh Prince of Bel Air episode where Ashley gets a job at the Dippity Doo Dog which now that I think about it is a big rip off of our beloved franchise. I was churning that lemonade like no ones business as I made a complete fool of my self. I remember that Manager asking us how we felt to what I replied "Great" but in my head I was cursing him and this damn place out. My audition didn't go so well, the manager pulled me aside and told me that I wasn't Hot Dog on the Stick material, but he thanked me for my effort. I was compensated for that ridiculous display, 15 dollars to be exact. I don't think I have ever been so glad to be told that I wasn't cut out to be part of a company before but I took my 15 dollars and gave back that dumb outfit and went and had myself a life..... oh what could have been if I were to be hired? where would I be now? maybe my life would be different but I don't care to find out how.